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Coutdown to Super Bowl XLIII: Part 3 (Offense)

By Kevin Patra and J.David ⋅ January 28, 2009
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Introducing this series: In the days leading up to the big game, Super Bowl XLIII, The Sports Union asked Kevin Patra and J.David to once again make their picks for the final game of the NFL season; but since it is the big one, they have to do it a little grander. All week our editors will battle it out via email and allow you access to their conversation, we like to call it the Palin-effect. Picking the Super Bowl is worth 2 points and it all hinges on this game, with Patra going 7-3 through the playoffs and J.David only one game behind at 6-4. Monday – Coaching and Special Teams, Tuesday – Defense, Wednesday – Offense, and Thursday – The Whole Shebang! Also check back on Saturday for a special GameDay meal/appetizer and instructions on how not to celebrate the Super Bowl.

That is so Offensive

Kevin Patra-Under-appreciated. Ignored. Cast aside like the crust on the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I’m eating. That is the Pittsburgh offense.

Everyone talks about the Steelers’ defense. Sports shows continue to spew rhetoric about how it has been the Cardinal defense that has gotten them to the Super Bowl. And people can’t say enough-as I’m sure you will do in a second-about Kurt Warner, Jr. Fitzgerald, and the resurgence of Edgerin “I’m still getting out of here after this is over” James.

Don’t make the same mistake there JDizzle. Don’t overlook the Foreman that runs this Steele Mill.

My boy Ben Roethlisberger (representing the Miami of Ohiah RedHawks-the better of the two burgundy birds in this showdown) is the epitome of a solid quarterback. The best of the big three from his draft-yes Giants and Chargers fans, admit it-he just wins. Period.

His style might not be as flashy as a former Arena Football leaguer, but he moves the chains. The Steelers’ will hold onto the ball and keep it away from your pass-happy offense.

How do you plan on scoring 30 points if you only have the ball once a quarter????

J.David - “Throw me the damn ball!” says the No. 1 receiver and the next MVP of Super Bowl XLIII (43, for the Roman Numeral illiterate!). And the winner is Anquan Boldin. Yep, that is right. The man with the iron jaw and the iron will.

Much was made about the spat on the sidelines during the championship game with Boldin and offensive coordinator Todd Haley, but nothing is going to distract either of these fierce competitors. Early in the game Boldin will be the safety value, catching the short dump-off passes and beating the blitz packages of the schlumpy Steelers. The 5-yard and 6-yard safety passes will turn into highlight movie films, as Boldin uses the main stage of the Super Bowl to play himself into a huge off-season contract. Boldin is the complete package and the battery that makes this high-powered offense tick. When Boldin is roaming the field the defenses shutter, and on Super Bowl Sunday, the Steelers will have no answer for Boldin.

Twice in the first quarter alone, Boldin will single-handedly break the arm tackles of the Steeler secondary and stroll down the sidelines toward the end zone. Both touchdown receptions will give Boldin a combined YAC of over 100-yards. As the first quarter ends, cameras will catch Boldin and Haley in a loving embrace.

Kevin Patra - Wow! All I can say is WOW! I like your specificity, and your argument makes some sense. But I sure hope nobody buys your eloquent prose as a some bold underdog prediction. Way to go out on a limb. You are taking the receiver with the fourth best yards/game average in the league who ranks third in touchdown receptions to have a lot of yards and score touchdowns. Careful on that tree branch Miss Cleo it looks a little wobbly.

If your were going to make a prediction why not just say that Boldin stabs his coach in the pregame, gets arrested WWF style before the game and Stevie Breaston goes on to win the Super Bowl MVP. At least that would have been an entertaining story. John Madden could have wrote your replay: “An Anquan Boldin is a really great, great receiver. He runs, and scores touchdowns. Just like that, boom he’s in the end zone.”

Meanwhile, Willie Parker is gashing your defense, and Roethlismessiah is dancing away from the rush to pick up third down conversions. You want a real prop bet: Santonio “Don’t call me Slash” Holmes will have more receiving yards than Anquan Boldin…..I’ll put a beer on it.

J.David - You are definitely on with that one. How bout double or nothing your Willie shrinks under the pressure-less than 100-yards rushing? And you want the trifecta, 2 Cardinal receivers go for over 100-yards and zero Steeler receivers go for over 100-yards.

Now that we have that out of the way, on to the real stuff …

This just out of Cardinal camp: Pittsburgh defense, please bring the blitz. Kurt Warner is masterful when under pressure and not needing to think. He is a reaction quarterback which he learned at UNI (Panthers in the UNI-dome) and with the Iowa Barnstormers (in the Veterans Memorial Auditorium). The faster the game pace the more Warner slows down and sees everything. Warner played in two Super Bowls, 1999 and 2001, and guess who holds the No. 1 and No. 2 spots for most passing yards in Super Bowl history? You guessed it, Kurt Warner (414, 365). With Boldin on one side and Larry “Just Throw it in the Same Zip Code and I will Catch It” Fitzgerald on the opposite side, Warner has the weapons to run the defense all over the field.

And finally, don’t count out Edgerrin James. Another spurned lover that might just use this opportunity to get himself out of dodge with a load of cash. I would throw a flyer and bet you that James also gains 100-yards rushing but when adding up the number, I see 900-yards in total offense for the Cardinals.

Maybe that is closer than we think …

Kevin Patra - You really think the Cardinals will have the ball enough times to put the bazillion yards up you predict? The only chance is if they score on one play 95-yard drives every time they touch the ball. I will resist the urge to remind you who the Steelers safeties are and how they will be creeping up to jump those lanes when Warner tries to beat the blitz with quick throws.

But I will say that I hope I’m at the same Super Bowl party as you. We can watch the Steelers’ offense methodically march down the field, eating up clock, keeping your suspect defense on the field, and converting on third and longs.

That guy yelling in your ear: “Move the chains, move the chains, move…the…chains…” all night, that will be me.

Oh and when I win those bets, I want real beers. Not these pansy Michelob Ultras you’ve been pimping for the last six months.

Previous Articles:

Countdown to Super Bowl XLIII: Part I (Coaches & Special Teams)

Countdown to Super bowl XLIII: Part 2 (Defense)

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kevin-patra5

Kevin Patra lives by the adage: Those who can’t do, teach, and those who can’t do or teach, write. Currently, he is a graduate student at the University of Southern California studying Online Journalism, after spending four years at the University of Michigan obtaining a bachelors degree from the school of Language, Science & Fun. Patra grew up watching the Honolulu Blue and Silver every weekend, so he is an expert on what football is not supposed to look like.

J.David

J.David has never won an award for his writing, but he is a former collegiate athlete for a small college where everyone makes the team. Currently, he is a grad student at the University of Southern California studying the archaic form called, Print Journalism. J.David points to watching Barry Sanders catlike moves as the birth of his love for the NFL, and LT’s hit on Joe Theisman as the last day he ever wanted to play quarterback.