Bill Cosby used to tell the story about how with his mother “sick” was always followed by “and tired.” He comedically  explained about the one time how he came home and his mother said, “I’m just sick,” to which he naively replied “and tired.” “Worst beating I ever got in my life,” said Cosby.

Well last week I was sick, now I’m just tired.

Not from juggling three jobs, grad school, this website and the fourteen illegitimate babies I have produced Travis Henry-style in the past year.

No I’m tired of waking up at 8 a.m. on Saturdays, spending an hour finding the University of Michigan football game on an online bootleg video stream, then watching them play pathetic pigskin and lose to inferior talent.

I’m tried of making excuses for Rich Rod and sick of arguing with people about how his entire defense was recruited by Lloyd Carr, who knew exactly what he was doing when he retired with Mike Hart, Jake Long and the 2007 team full of seniors with little talent in the wading pool.

I’m tired of watching the winged helmet lose in the Big House in front of 100,000+ fans who continue to show up to watch their team collapse in the second half.

This weeks debacle against Purdue, where they had the lead at halftime 24-10, made me puke–at that was the week after I had the flu.

How does a team that is supposed to be more defensively challenged  than offensively inept only score 12 second-half points? Aren’t Rich Rod’s offensive teams supposed to put up points even if his defense can’t stop anyone?

The 2009 version of Michigan Football was supposed to at least make a bowl after starting 4-0. Then they lost five of their past six, with its only win coming against freaking Delaware State (which it paid $550,000 to beat down).

Now they have to win at No. 20 Wisconsin (ha, right) or at home against No. 11 Ohio State (good lord) just to make the Little Caesars Pizza Bowl at Ford Field.

The Good

The best game Michigan has played since the 2008 Capital One Bowl where they beat Florida was the Tate Forcier-led victory over Notre Dame. This game was supposed to signal the reemergence of Wolverine football and displayed how Rich Rod’s offense could perform when it has the right players.

The Bad

30 points to Iowa!? Really? A team that had more trouble scoring than a high school freshman put up 30 points, and it easily could have been 50. The Michigan defense was just atrocious in this game and couldn’t stop Iowa on any third downs. It was like the Hawkeyes had two free plays before they even had to try and get a first down. This game could have been a turning point for the Michigan team, but wound up just another typical loss for Rich Rod’s team. Actually I take that back, it was a turning point, like the stock market crash, they plunged downward and haven’t played good football against a half-way decent team since.

The Ugly

Four tries from the half-yard-line and Michigan couldn’t punch the ball in the end zone. Then they pull a Detroit Lions and quit playing and the Illinois pound the living shit out of them for the rest of the game. This was a 1-6 Illinois team that kept only Illinois State under 23 points and was having a nightmare season on offense. Turns out playing Michigan will cure all those ills.

The Solace

It’s not supposed to work this way. Only Ohio State fans are supposed to hang their yearly hat on beating Michigan, but if somehow the Wolverines can pull off what looks impossible with the way Big Blue has been playing and beat the Buckeyes they will make this season worthwhile.

Michigan has looked so pathetic against Ohio State in recent years this cenario is even hard to fathom. But there is one bright side. Ohio State is not a great offensive team (I don’t care what they looked like against Penn State, they are no offensive juggernaut). If somehow the Wolverines can contain Terrell Pryor (hello Brandon Graham, this will be your biggest game) they have a chance at home. Tate Forcier has been a different quarterback at home in big games and if he can regain the magic he showed against Notre Dame and keep the game close he will have a chance to win it at the end.

One second, I have to go throw up again.

More from The Sports Union

• The Sports Union: For Sports Fans by Sports Fans! | Highlights Show Wolverine Football is Back . . . Maybe
• Betting on the Super Bowl | The Sports Union
• The Sports Union: For Sports Fans by Sports Fans! | Little Brother Fails To Finish Off The Irish
• Betting the NFL Championship Games | The Sports Union
• Five Reasons Michigan State Can Win It All | The Sports Union