Snuggie World Record: Only in Effin’ Ohio

The biggest story from Friday night’s game between the Cavs and Pistons was world record attempt for the largest gathering of people wearing Snuggies – the backward bathrobes for people too dumb to answer the phone while “trapped” in a blanket.  Who does this reflect worse for:  The Detroit Pistons – so terrible they are [...]

Allen Iverson Calls It Quits … Again.

AI is the only guy in America who can be viewed as totally selfish while acting totally selfless.  The Sixers released the 11-time all-star after missing a month of the season to care for his seriously ill 4-year-old daughter.  In a world where “deadbeat” is more often associated with dad than “available,” why is the [...]

Winter Olympics Things That Make Me Go Hmmmmm

Canada’s pregnant curler won a silver medal proving you need no athletic ability to play that “sport.” Luckily, she didn’t give birth in mid-curl though there were plenty of brooms to sweep up the mess had she “dropped a rock.”  And yes, I watched every stones throw, or do they push?
Kazakhstan won a medal.  So, [...]

Winter Olympics Reality Check

The 17 days of the Vancouver Winter Olympics are officially over though the frostbite will remind me forever why excessive drinking in cold climates should be avoided at all cost.
The Winter Olympics are relevant again … not really; they will be when someone cares during the 3 years 347 days between competitions.
The men’s gold medal [...]

LenDale White is Living in the Past

Former USC running back and “Captain Plumpy” for the Tennessee Titans, LenDale White made news this week by demanding Vince Young replace Uncle Kerry Collins as quarterback. Some will remember Young’s last accomplishment on the football field was to singlehandedly snatching the BCS title from White’s crumb covered hands in 2006. Young is coming off a stellar performance last week where he outperformed Collins posting a 0-2 passing, 0 yards, -1 yards rushing, and 1 INT. Yes, those numbers still out performed Collins! The only question that remains for LenDale is: “I know you lost all that weight by putting down the shots of Patron, but what did you pick up and start smoking to think Young is going to make a difference?” You should have said, “We need a better quarterback, can you trade me for one?”

@Blake Ayles: Win with Class, Douche!

During the pregame festivities at Notre Dame Stadium, sophomore tight end, Blake Ayles, posed for a picture with some Irish fans, kinda. He jumped into the background of the picture and saluteda couple of goofy domer fans with a double bird. Unfortunately for Trojan fans, Ayles’ on field performance was less of a “F-off” to Notre Dame and more like a “I’m playing with my thumb up my ass.” Your one reception for 10 yards doesn’t permit you to be a douche.

Hilarious? A bit. Classless? Exactly, and it is something I would expect from trash talking, Golden Taint (but then again, he would have back it up on the field).

So the only question that remains is: “When will the written-for and totally contrived apology be set for Mr. Ayles to read?”

[picture inside post]

This Just In: Umpires are Human

It is post-season baseball and that only means one thing: Six-Man Umpiring Crews! And as we’ve witnessed this post-season, that simply means six individuals who amazingly didn’t see a thing! From Chase Utley’s foul ball ruled a hit to Joe Mauer’s hit ruled a foul ball, we have seen it all and, well, it is as ugly as a newborn baby being plopped out and covered in all that goo. Umps have missed calls on base paths and in strike zones, and it is leaving fans demanding perfection or new robotic umps. However, is instant replay really the way to go? Do we need another thing to slow baseball down beyond the painstaking crawl it already is? Instead, why not shorten the game by seven innings to cut down on the potential of mistakes. Or better yet, let’s institute the childhood solution to ever missed call; Do Over!

QB Controversy – Family Break-up and Better with Round Ball

Dan Hawkins, coach of the Colorado Buffaloes, benched his quarterback in Saturday’s game against the Texas Longhorns causing an awkward dinner conversation with his wife.  Hawkins’ response to his wife’s ire was, “I know he is my son, BUT THIS IS BIG-12 FOOTBALL!  IF HE DOESN’T LIKE IT THEN HE SHOULD GO PLAY INTRAMURALS!”  Hawkins [...]

Liner Crushes Holliday’s Balls and The Spirit of St. Louis

Matt Holliday went from hero to goat in the matter of a 10-hour baseball game.  With chance to end the game and tie the series against the Dodgers, Holliday briefly lost a tailing line drive in the lights and then found it hit him squarely in the briefs. The ninth inning error to the nether [...]

LeBron Gets Braylon Shipped Out Of Cleveland

Notice to all in Cleveland: Don’t mess with LeBron James or anyone who knows him. If you do, you will be shipped out of town. Two days of Brown’ Braylon Edwards was accused of assulting a friend of James, the erratic receiver was traded to the New York Jets for wide receiver Chansi Stuckey, linebacker [...]