Finally.  After seven months of Super Bowl hangover the NFL regular season gets under way tonight when the Tennessee Titans look to knock off 2009 Champion Pittsburgh Steelers.  Last season gave us the first ever team to go defeated (Detroit Lions, 0-16), Brett Favre sinking with the Jets and Ben Rothlisberger leading the Steelers to another Super Bowl victory.

The offseason has been wild.  Favre retired, thought about coming back, decided against it, then realized he really really really hates home life and eventually signed with the Minnesota Vikings.  Michael Vick got out of jail after 19 months and eventually ended up with the Philadelphia Eagles, which led animal activist and Vick-haters, PETA, to vow to never protect another eagle, regardless of the fact that they are going extinct.  Super Bowl winning quarterback Rothlisberger was accused of sexual assault a year after the alleged incident took place, but the charge was later dropped.  Dante Stallworth pleaded guilty to a DUI manslaughter and spent less time in jail than a jaywalker. Plaxico Burress shot himself, then went to jail for it.  And the Lions decided that Matthew Stafford needed a few concussions this year so they selected him as their starting quarterback.

I’m sure we missed something, but let’s get on to the fun stuff.  We’ve already previewed each division, but now we Kevin Patra and J.David’s real positions on the upcoming NFL season starting with the AFC.

AFC North
Nothing is harder than repeating as NFL Champion. OK a 19-year-old after four Viagra and two Cialis might be harder, but you get the point.  The Pittsburgh Steelers remain strong this season and aside from Rothlisbergers off-field situation everything seems as right as rain in the Steel City.  Which is exactly why I have to pick against them in the division.  Everyone knows that no Pittsburgh team plays well from the front.  They, along with their blue-collar fans, love being the ‘no way no how’ underdog that just rolls along as others question and doubt.  They are also due for a major injury, and I’m guessing its Big Ben that goes down for at least three weeks this season.  This won’t necessarily keep them from the playoffs but it will keep them from taking the division…

…Which will be won by the Baltimore Ravens.  Joe Flacco will be better than his game-managing tasks allowed last season.  His backfield is still solid and will allow him the luxury of a lot of 3rd-and-shorts.  Look for Ray Rice to have a semi-break out season and take over more of the carries.  And though they lost linebacker Bart Scott and coordinator Rex Ryan, the Ravens still have Ed Reed and Ray Lewis which should keep them close in every game.  It won’t be pretty but the Ravens take the AFC North.

Best Rookie:  Michael Oher

Best Fantasy Player:  Braylon Edwards

Kevin Patra’s Division Winner:  Baltimore Ravens

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J.David’s Rebuttal:

Baltimore just might be the better team, but the schedules tip the scales to the Pittsburgh Steelers to spoil any chance the Ravens have of taking the AFC North.

The Ravens play Indianapolis, at San Diego, at New England, at Minnesota, at Green Bay and at Oakland (which is more about travel fatigue rather than skill level).  On the other side of the ball, the Steelers do not play New England and instead play at Miami, which is a favorable trade off.  They don’t play Indianapolis and instead they play Tennessee, which is a favorable trade off, once again.  The Steelers do play at Detroit (but who can’t win there?) and at Miami, at Chicago and at Kansas City, but the farthest they travel west is at Denver.

If Pittsburgh can keep healthy, especially their running backs, then they can post a gaudy record and challenge for the top spot in the whole AFC.

Best Rookie:  Alex Mack

Best Fantasy Player:  Chad Ochocinco

J.David’s Division Winner:  Pittsburgh Steelers

AFC South

After just making the argument that it is better for Pittsburgh to play Tennessee over Baltimore playing Indianapolis, I will make my pick for the AFC South to be Tennessee.  Yes, it looks like a blatant John Kerry flip-flop but I believe both Baltimore and Pittsburgh are better than every team in the southern division, but I would much rather be playing against Kerry Collins/Vince Young rather than Eli’s big brother.

The Colts will miss Coach Dungy and Marvin Harrison as they struggle adopting their new identity.  Bob Sanders, the anchor of the defense, must stay healthy for the defense to be respectable.

In the end, the Titans change to Vince Young during the season will provide the spark to the offense as they abandon the passing game (because they have no receivers) and embrace the three-headed running monster of Young, Chris Johnson and LenDale White.

The Titans don’t run away with the South but the title is given to them, as they are the only one left standing.

Best Rookie:  Brian Cushing

Best Fantasy Player:  Chris Johnson

J.David’s Division Winner:  Tennessee Titans

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Kevin Patra’s Rebuttal:

So the Colts will miss Dungy, et al., but the Titans won’t miss new Lions coach Jim Schwartz????  OK maybe if the Lions singed your coach, perhaps it’s not a big loss.  But the loss of massive Defensive Tackle Albert Haynesworth to the Washington Redskins will leave a huge whole in their line, which allowed them to be stellar against the run and pass in 2008.

Unfortunately, I have to agree with you, but not because I think Vince Young will actually fulfill his prophecy that he will be the next black quarterback to win a Super Bowl, but because of “Smash and Dash.”  Running backs Chris Johnson and LenDale White–who lost thirty pounds by quitting drinking Tequila–will have their way throughout the season.  With White’s new fitness the Titans will  be able to run two backs throughout the game, controlling the clock and the line of scrimmage.  But look for this to be one of the most competitive divisions, as even the doormat Houston Texans will pull some division upsets.

Best Rookie: Fili Moala

Best Fantasy Player:  Payton Manning–(Steve Slaton, runner-up)

Patra’s Division Winner:  Tennessee Titans

AFC East

I’ll be brief, like Miami’s stay at the top of this division.  The Dolphins face the toughest schedule and will struggle to play up to their standards of a year ago.

The Bills will be a mess after TO decides he needs a few more passes, but Trent Edwards is on his back and doesn’t have time to get him the ball.  This will lead to TO’s inevitable soundbite, “I don’t care if he’s layin on the ground, I need the damn ball.”

The Jets are starting rookie quarterback Mark Sanchez.  And football will get in the way of his GQ photoshoots.  Luckily for Sanchez the Jets have a good offensive line and solid defense. But they are still the Jets, and the fans will be quick to turn on their quarterback at first sign of struggle.

The best team in the division is still led by the real GQ quarterback, Tom Brady, and coach Bill Belichick.  The Patriots will win this division going away with their firepower offense and retooled defense.  Don’t expect the numbers of two years ago, but it will be fun to see Brady and Randy Moss hook up often and remind us just how good a tandem they are when healthy

Best Rookie:  Mark Sanchez

Best Fantasy Player:  Tom Brady

Patra’s Division Winner:  New England Patriots

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J.David’s Rebuttal

Well, who can argue this one?  The Patriots will win this division with ease as they have no trouble dismissing the T.O. led Bills, the Pennington led Dolphins and the Sanchez let Jets, and therein lies the problem.  You have one tear-filled-quarterback-lovin’-as-long-as-I-am-the-only-man-in-his-life wide receiver, TO; a second-rate arm like a Sally-spurned-lover quarterback named Pennington; and Mr. LA, overrated wish I had a creepy mustache, quarterback named Dirty Sanchez trying to outduel the golden boy from New England, Thomas Brady.  Even with the mad scientist, Bill Belichick, casting aside every aging veteran like Richard Seymour and Tedy Bruschi you know that the Patriots will be the crème of the crop in the East.  Brady will answer all those who doubt that he can return to the record-breaking year of 2007 after major knee surgery and marriage to the supermodel Giselle.

Best Rookie:  Mark Sanchez

Best Fantasy Player:  Randy Moss

AFC West

Wow, I think anything in football with “West” attached to its name should just be ignored, especially the AFC West.

Raiders – Al Davis.  Enough said.

Denver Broncos – Rookie coach who turns 15-years old this coming April.  Prepare for top draft pick and chance to really replace Jay Cutler.

Kansas City Chiefs – Adding New England’s old GM, QB, LB and Tackle doesn’t make you a contender and neither does hiring the offensive coordinator from the Super Bowl participating Cardinals.

Well, I guess that leaves San Diego.  Solid defense anchored by the guy with a Tequila problem.  Great running backs—yes, plural.  Great quarterback.  Great tight end.  Great kicker.  Great punter.  What more do you need?

Best Rookie:  Knowshon Moreno

Best Fantasy Player:  Philip Rivers

J.David’s Division Winner:  San Diego Chargers

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Patra’s Rebuttal:

We need to stop working together, because we just keep agreeing and that makes things awkward [embarrassing breakup moment].

Is the AFC just that predictable or is the bottom of this league just that bad?

I agree that this is San Diego’s division to lose.  Philip Rivers will have a Pro Bowl season and as long as Merriman is cleared of his off-field troubles, the defense will be back to its solid play of two years ago.  That said, they still have Norv Turner as their head coach, so they are precluded from getting deep into the playoffs.

As sad as it is I like what the Raiders are doing up in Oakland.  OK I couldn’t say that with a straight face–especially after surrendering a 1st round pick for a one year rental of defensive tackle Richard Seymour.  But their ground game is stellar and in this division that might be all they need to have a winning record.  But in true Raider fashion some off-field issue will overcloud anything they do on the field (any chance Al Davis continues the trend of famous deaths this year???).

By the way, how good would Colt McCoy look in a Denver uniform next season?

Best Rookie:  Moreno

Best Fantasy Player:  Darren McFadden (I can’t agree with you 100%)

Patra’s Division winner:  San Diego Chargers

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Check Back Tomorrow when the guys breakdown the NFC.

Related posts:

1. ⊚  NFL Preview-Week 2 AFC South
2. ⊚  NFL Preview: Week 1-AFC West
3. ⊚  NFL Preview Week 7 – NFC West
4. ⊚  NFL Preview-Week 3 AFC North
5. ⊚  NFL Preview Week 8 – NFC South