Why only two sentences? Glad you asked. Four reasons: 1) Without a cap I’d end up writing a book on the Detroit Pistons (we will save that until they are officially ousted…so next week). 2) J.David gave an excellent recap on many of the series (but not all) and no one is as eloquent as he. 3) Only two series deserve more than that at this point 4) It’s Wednesday and my eyes are already bleeding from staring at a computer screen.
Cleveland vs. Detroit (Cavs lead 2-0)
This is No. 1 vs. No 8, why should we be shocked by two blowouts? If LeBron is Luke Skywalker and Kobe is Darth Vader then the Detroit Pistons are Porkins (“I’ve got a problem here.” “Eject.” “I can hold it.” “Pull up!” “No, I’m all-Aah!“).
Boston vs. Chicago (tied 1-1)
If you are a Bulls fan aren’t you a little pissed-off, thinking to yourself, “Where the hell has that Ben Gordon been for a year and a half?” Meanwhile, Rajon Rondo is like the teenager on a rec-league team of old dudes: he’s running around killing the opponent, while the old men are nursing arthritis pains and clapping from the other end of the court between deep breaths and prostate checkups.
Orlando vs. Philadelphia (76ers lead 1-0)
How does the team with the Defensive Player of the Year give up an 18-point lead? (quick answer: they stop scoring-scoreless for more than a quarter of the 4th quarter) Don’t wake the beast; this could be the game that propels the Magic to the ECF.
Atlanta vs. Miami (Hawks lead 1-0)
Hey Miami, it’s really easy for the Hawks to guard Dwyane Wade when you stand and watch him like he’s Jessica Alba stripping in Sin City. The refs can’t win a series for you if you keep getting blown out.
Los Angeles vs. Utah (Lakers lead 2-0)
You might be surprised by the Lakers giving up big leads, but if you’ve watched most of their games this season (groan) you know this is par for the course. Playing in Utah is another challenge, but fortunately for the Lakers Kobe hasn’t even gotten off yet (holding back the “he only does that in Denver” jokes incase they meet in the WCF).
Denver vs New Orleans (Nuggets lead 1-0)
My Chauncey jersey is officially a throwback-mainly because of the national press creaming all over him. Absolutely, utterly, positively no way he keeps scorching Paul like that, CP3 will smoke him tonight…mark it down.
San Antonio vs. Dallas (tied at 1-1)
How do the ultra-conservatives in Texas feel about a Frenchmen being the best player on the court? Dallas has no one to guard Parker-Longoria–and don’t give me that JJ Barea crap–but the question remains: do the decrepit Spurs have enough left to play any defense the rest of the way.
Portland vs. Houston (series tied 1-1)
Rumor has it that Brandon Roy paid a groupie to show Ron Artest a cup of water before the second game; it upset the Rocket’s uber-defender so much he just let Roy score. Simple Truth: whoever wins the Roy-Artest battle win the games…this series might not be over for three weeks–wait the NBA just announced they were lengthening the first round, make that four weeks.
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Kevin Patra lives by the adage: Those who can’t do, write. Currently, he is a graduate student at the University of Southern California studying Online Journalism, after spending four years at the University of Michigan obtaining a bachelors degree from the school of Language, Science & Fun. Patra still owns a teal Grant Hill jersey and is looking for his old FILA basketball shoes.
Related posts:
- ⊚ The Sports Union’s NFL Divisional Playoff Predictions
- ⊚ Fisher Sets the Stage for Kobe
- ⊚ NBA Eastern Conference First Round Preview
- ⊚ The Top-5 Western Conference All-Stars (of my era)
- ⊚ All-Star Mistake
[...] The Sports Union added an interesting post today on NBA Playoff series in two sentencesHere’s a small readingWhy only two sentences? Glad you asked. Four reasons: 1) Without a cap I’d end up writing a book on the Detroit Pistons (we will save that until they are officially ousted…so next week). 2) J.David gave an excellent recap on many of the series (but not all) and no one is as eloquent as [...] [...]
Nice brief concise analysis. Hope you’re right about the Magic. If they get their shit together they should definitely meet the Cavs in the ECF. Hopefully Hedo plays like he’s not injured next game. Howard did his job in the 1st Philly game but everyone else let the team down. Defense would be nice also.
[...] Patra brought you the NBA Playoffs in two sentences, and I am willing to one-up him with a two sentence and a run-on of the first round of playoff [...]