This year the NBA decided to give a name to its NBA Finals MVP award.  Not surprisingly, they chose Bill Russell, keeping in line with their recent nostalgia campaign of celebrating any and everything about the Celtics of the 1960s.  The choice of Russell is an interesting one considering A) He never won the award himself, and B) That he played for perhaps the best “team” to ever take the floor in NBA history, and one that wasn’t about individual achievement, but rather hard nosed, team concept basketball.  In fairness to Russell, the award wasn’t given out until 1969, when Jerry West became the first and only player from a losing team to win the award.  The winning team that year….Russell and the Celtics, the last of Russell’s 11 NBA titles.  If the honor had been given to players prior to 1969, no doubt Russell would have a trophy case full of MVP hardware.

When I think of Finals MVP, only one name comes to mind: Michael Jordan.  Maybe that is because he won a record six Finals MVP trophies, one for each of his trips to the NBA’s championship series.  The only reason I can think of for why the NBA didn’t make the right choice and name the award after Jordan is that it is too soon.  The NBA is just beginning to come out of its post-Jordan-era swoon, the result of 15 years of the JBA (Jordan Basketball Association).  David Stern and his league rode the coat tails of Jordan and his brilliance to record ratings and attendance numbers.  How obsessed was the NBA with MJ?  I remember being at the Lakers home opener for the 2001-2002 season.  It was the night that the players were being presented with their championship rings for the second of their three straight NBA titles.  This is a night, historically, that the NBA commissioner shows up to be a part of the festivities.  But on this evening, David Stern was nowhere to be found.  Where was he?  In the nation’s capital for the second of Jordan’s post retirement comebacks, this time with the Wizards.  Lakers fans, like myself, have never forgiven Stern for this move, which felt like a slap in the face to the Lakers and their fans.

Incidents like this led to the commissioner and the league taking loads of flack for being in love with the original number 23. Now the NBA is distancing itself a bit from Jordan and his legacy.  This is unfortunate, because as I see it, the NBA Finals MVP trophy should be carved in the image of the Jump Man.  That way, the winner might actually know who the award is named for, and understand exactly how big the shoes are that he is standing in.  I can hear it now….the arguments of blue hairs and NBA historians who wish to lecture me about the greatness of Russell and those Celtics in a pre-three point, pre-free agency era when NBA Finals games were broadcasted in tape delay.  Save it.  Not interested. Let’s move on.

Since the NBA is putting names on trophies, I thought I would give out a few post-season awards, named for individuals who best represent the spirit of the prize.  Some of the honored are NBA players and coaches and some come from other realms of society, each chosen for his unique accomplishments.  And now, on with the presentation…..

The first two awards are for the coaches.  Always playing second fiddle to their millionaire players, here they will be recognized first.

The Wayne Fontes Award

Given to the coach who was at greatest risk of getting canned before turning things around and saving his job.  Fontes was a master at this.  His miserable Lions teams would limp into their annual Thanksgiving Day game every year with their coach millimeters from the chopping block.  Then they would rattle off a series of wins to end the year and keep old Wayne around for one more season.

And the winner is: Stan Van Gundy

A couple of months ago the Ron Jeremy was being blasted on the airwaves for not being able to get the job done.  Shaq likened him to “a busted Navigational system”, saying, “He knows everything about everything, but ain’t never been nowhere.” Well said by “The Big Double Negative.” It turns out, not only does Van Gundy know how to get there, he is there, knee deep in the NBA Finals, quieting his critics….for now.

The Byron Scott Award

Given to the coach who is a genius one year, then his team grows tired of him, stops listening, and the team, the city, and the entire NBA world begin to doubt his ability to lead.

And the winner is: Byron Scott

Why does this always happen to B. Sceezy?  In the early part of this decade, Scott took the New Jersey Nets to two straight NBA Finals before his players turned on him and he was fired.  Well, he’s at it again.  Last year, Byron was awarded the Coach of the Year honor and his team fell inches short of the western conference finals.  Now, his coaching methods are being questioned and he may have lost the ability to get through to his young team.  It seems that it is only a matter of time before Scott again receives his walking papers and moves on to turn around another struggling team-then get fired a short time after.

And now for the team honors….

The Dick Cheney Award

No, this is not the prize given to the team that finds false intelligence reports of weapons of mass destruction and convinces the commissioner to invade the NHL.  Rather, it is awarded to the team most likely to give its fans a heart attack.

And the winner is: The Chicago Bulls

Oh those cardiac kids.  Basketball was again alive and well in Chi-Town, thanks in large part to the amazing play of rookie of the year Derek Rose.  In their epic, seven game series with Boston, which may go down as the greatest and most entertaining series of all time, the Bulls gave their fans, and Celtics haters everywhere, a lot of hope and a lot of heartache.  Last second shots, overtimes, and plenty of controversy; everything you could want from a playoff series.  This team should be fun to watch for years to come.

The Tommy Lee Award

Again, not what you are thinking.  This award is given to the team that has more ink on their bodies than on their jerseys.

And the winner is: The Denver Nuggets

Though they enjoyed a breakout season, due to the mid season acquisition of Chauncey Billups, “the Thuggets” looked more like a pick-up team from a prison yard than an NBA champion.  See you in 4 to 5 (months that is).

Last, but not least, the players.

The Yao Ming Award

Given to the super star player who gets hurt at the worst possible time, killing his team’s chances of winning it all.

And the winner is: Yao Ming

Yao clinched his own award by coming up lame midway through the Rockets heavy weight bout against the Lakers.  Despite losing their big man, Houston took L.A. to the brink, before losing in seven games.  As is the case every year, Rockets fans can only wonder what might have been and look forward to next season.  At least Yao will be back, the same can’t necessarily be said for T-Mac.

The Dominique Wilkins Award

Given to the unbelievably talented player who everyone wants to see in the Finals, but who’s team is awful and he can’t get them there by himself.

And the winner is: LeBron James

No surprise here.  James did everything short of put on a cape and fly around Cleveland, but it wasn’t enough to get the Cavs to the NBA Finals.  It turns out Danny Ferry is not such a generous, and Wally Sczcerbiak, Boobie Gibson, Sasha Pavlovic, and Anderson Varejao are who we thought they were….bad players.  King James’ frustration was evident, as he ducked out on post game responsibilities after falling to Orlando, and hasn’t been heard from since.  Maybe next year I will hand out a “LeBron James Award,” for the worst loser.

That concludes our awards ceremony. Let the debate begin.

***********************************************

Matt Venuto was forced into the writing business when those close to him held an intervention and demanded that he find an outlet for his endless opinions and ranting, because, frankly, they were tired of listening to him. Matt is a USC alumnus and majored in psychology in an attempt to figure out why everyone around him was nuts.  He failed in his endeavor.  Like Hootie and the Blowfish, the Dolphins make him cry and he doesn’t understand why more people don’t find Kevin Garnett extremely annoying.  Calm down Kevin, please.

Related posts:

1. ⊚  Place Your Bets! The NBA Conference Finals Are Here
2. ⊚  Betting The NBA: The Final Frontier
3. ⊚  The Top-5 Eastern Conference All-Stars (of my era)
4. ⊚  What Christmas Day at the Laker/Celtics Game Taught Me
5. ⊚  Lakers beat Magic, 100-75, In Game 1 Of Finals