Serena Williams fined $10k at US Open. One chick threatens to shove one tennis ball up an old lady’s ass one time and everybody freaks out about it.

Michael Phelps was pictured taking a bong hit. And the “Legalize L.A.” campaign went crazy with excitement…until they used recreational drugs, then they forgot what they were excited about.
LA Lakers win their 15th NBA Championship. Congratulations to Kobe Bryant. He proved that he doesn’t need Shaq to win a championship. He just needs a really skilled big man, a young defensive stopper and home court advantage.

Tiger Woods outed by multiple mistresses. And the count just seems to keep going up faster than Tiger Woods, umm, errr, never mind.

Vick signs with the Eagles. And the pompous pathetic pet loving PETA members go ape shit, because if a man kills another man, that is OK, but a man kills a dog and he can never get a job utilizing his best skills again.

John Calipari becomes head basketball coach at the University of Kentucky, while the University of Memphis is sanctioned by the NCAA for test score violations. Calipari is the only head coach to leave two different universities that were suspended for violating NCAA policy and continue coaching.
Plaxico Burress sentenced to two years in prison for shooting himself. I wonder if PETA will try to make sure Burress doesn’t get a job after he gets out. After all his leg was kinda like a pet, right?

AROD admits to using steroids. At the time it was a big blow, now it will just make the next book about him a little more interesting as he seemed more relaxed after admitting he cheated and played the Yankees to a World Series Championship.

Head coach Jeff Jagodzinski fired by Boston College. Boston College essentially gave coach Jeff Jagodzinski an ultimatum telling him that if he interviewed for the vacant New York Jets head coaching job, he would lose his job…and they followed through. Jagodzinski would be hired by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but he was again fired before the NFL season even began.

Manny Ramirez suspended 50 games for performance enhancing drugs. And the fickle L.A. fans were quite fine with it and welcomed him back with open arms. I wonder what their reaction would have been had he played for, say, San Francisco?

Arizona residents fed hardcore porn during Super Bowl XLIII. While most Arizona Cardinals’ fans were celebrating Larry Fitzgerald’s fourth quarter touchdown in the Superbowl, some turned their attention back to the TV to see porn playing on the boob tube after a cross-up by their Comcast cable company.  What more could you ask for? Football and porn, where do I sign up for that cable package (pun intended).

Artie Lange ruins premiere of HBO’s Joe Buck Live. Using a myriad of curses and jokes mainly directed at Joe Buck, comedian Artie Lange successfully caused unrest and uneasiness in the premier of Buck’s HBO show.

Steelers win Sixth Super Bowl. Ben Roethlisberger found Santonio Holmes in the corner of the endzone with 35 seconds remaining, and with a ridiculous catch by Holmes, the Steelers won their sixth Superbowl title.

Penguins win Stanley Cup.  Little bitch boy gets his first cup, and still only 17 people watch hockey.

Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield go on Oprah. Former heavyweights Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield were both guests on Oprah’s weekday television show. Mike Tyson opened up and even got tearful when discussing the loss of his four-year old daughter, who died last year.

Deadspin airs ESPN’s dirty laundry as Steve Phillips is fired for having an affair with an intern. Deadspin has never been a big fan of ESPN having previously aired information about ESPN analyst Sean Salisbury, and they went all out in airing dirty laundry about a number of ESPN employees as information that baseball analyst Steve Phillips had had an affair with an ESPN intern — eventually costing him his job with the company.

North Carolina rolls to their fifth mens basketball national title. The North Carolina Tar Heels won every game of their national championship run by double digits, including the championship by 17 points over Michigan State. Wayne Ellington was named Final Four Most Outstanding Player.

Nick Adenhart killed by a drunk driver. One of the saddest stories of the year.

Florida dominates Oklahoma in another unexciting BCS championship. Behind Tim Tebow anda suffocating defense that held the prolific Sam Bradford-led Oklahoma offense to 14 points, Florida rolled for their second BCS championship in three years.

Real Salt Lake wins MLS title. It took overtime and penalty kicks, but Real Salt Lake walked away with the MLS title after knocking off the LA Galaxy, who lost their starting goalkeeper to an injury in the second half. If 17 people watch hockey, eight watch MLS.

US Soccer makes strides in Confederations Cup. The United States soccer team surprised many as they advanced to the Confederations Cup final beating European champion Spain and nearly upsetting Brazil in the final before giving up a late lead. Two soccer stories in a row? Hell just dropped 14 degrees.

Mark Ingram wins Heisman Trophy. Running back Mark Ingram became the first Heisman Trophy award winner from the historic Alabama Crimson Tide football program.

Urban Meyer takes leave of absence from Florida. After initially saying he would retire from Florida for health reasons, Meyer said he would take a leave of absence after the Gator’s BCS bowl game. When you have a .841 winning percentage, you get to do whatever you want.

Texas Tech fires head coach Mike Leach amidst an investigation of player mistreatment. Seemed like an excuse for the university to get rid of a guy they didn’t like–considering a contract stipulation would have kicked in the day after he got fired. Leach had taken the Red Raiders to a bowl in 10 consecutive seasons.

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Shotgun Spratling, Ruth Frantz and Mohammed Rahman contributed to this post.

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