The College Bowl schedule was announced Sunday night. I’m not sure what is worse television, a show announcing games to be played in two weeks of which about half are predetermined based on conference contracts, or watching a balding psychologist parading as a doctor and yelling at his guests for their failures while ignoring his own.

Given that today is a “Michigan Monday” here at TSU, I feel obligated to discuss the Michigan State Spartans matchup with Texas Tech in the Alamo Bowl.

I know my affinity for the Spartans is about as warm as a Hilary Clinton smile, but at least one college football team in Michigan is bowl eligible. Even with the Spartans achieving a modicum of success I will still refer to them as Little Brother, because in life you can get as big as you want, as strong as you want, as smart as you want, but you will always be the Little Brother. And in the proverbial world of stereotypical labeling, MSU is the ginger that all other schools want to kick on “Kick a Ginger Day“–shoot I missed it.

I am particularly pissed at the paltry football program from East Lansing because I went out on a limb this season and selected the Little Bro to win the Big Ten. So what did they do? They Cheddar-Bobbed themselves Plaxico Burress-style over and over en route to a sixth place finish in the conference with a 4-4 record (6-6 overall). Thank you Sparty, thank you so very much.

The only solace for MSU was holding on for the win against Michigan–which is like beating your Big Brother at basketball when he has two broken ankles and fractured wrist, injuries he sustained after he thought jumping off the roof of his house was a good idea.

So LB will face Texas Tech in the Alamo Bowl. There are a few things to like for Sparty and a few things to hate in this matchup.

Lets start with three advantages for Pequeño Hermano:

1) Balanced Offense:
MSU averaged 136 yards on the ground and 271 yards passing this season. They go up against a Red Raiders defense ranked 37th in D-1 against the run giving up 125 yards/game and 72nd against the pass allowing  223 yards/game. The Spartans can utilize their run and pass offense to keep TT off balance and slice them up–like all pathetic Big 12 defenses. Particularly, Sparty must do a better job than they have this season on the ground (which has been worse this season than recent MSU teams). If they can control the clock and keep the Red Raider’s offense on the sidelines it will be a huge boon to the Spartans cause.

2) Brett Swenson:
Yes, that is right, the kicker will play a huge role for the Spartans–and if Deion Sanders can repeatedly say the key to big NFL games will be X kicker and Y kicker, I can do the same. Swenson is a Groza Award semifinalist with 70 career fields, including an 18-for-20 showing this season. Shockingly the Spartans always seem to have outstanding kickers–I’m sure the recently retiring Bobby Bowden is jealous. If the Spartans can keep the game close there are few kickers in D-1 football that have the leg and accuracy that Swenson provides to help win a game at the end.

3) Mark Dantonio:
I realize this was not Marky’s best coaching season. But he is the best coach to lead MSU since Nick Saban left for greener pastures. With a month to prepare Dantonio will be able to prep his team to handle, somewhat, the Tech offensive attack and devise an offensive strategy to control the clock and keep the Red Raiders offense on the sideline. Also, I must note the balls it took for Dantonio to kick two players off the team and suspend eight others in connection with a Nov. 22 fight at a campus dorm. While the two players ousted already had season-ending injuries, two of the team’s top three receivers and a starting cornerback were among the eight suspended. On a team already devoid of talent (especially defensively) doing the right thing and suspending wrong-doers is an admirable act that more coaches should follow.

Now for three disadvantages Little Brother will have in their Jan. 2 matchup:

1) Pass Defense
I know, I know, I’m just stating the obvious. While the Spartans were 24th against the run,  giving up only 113 yards/game, their pass defense ranked 103rd, surrendering 252 yard/game. In case you aren’t familiar with Big-12 football, especially the Red Raiders offense, it is pass-happy, to the nth degree. Texas Tech put up a whopping 381 yards/game through the air this season, and that was with injury problems at quarterback. QB Taylor Potts put up 3068 yards with 20 TD passes, and that was with missing two games. Given the Spartans secondary woes, it could be a long day for the men in green if they aren’t able to get pressure on the quarterback from their front four.

2) Turmoil
As I mentioned before the Spartans’ season ended in the worst possible fashion, after failing to meet expectations on the field and the embarrassing actions off it. If the Spartans go into the game just wanting the season to end they will get smoked. If they don’t have players step up for those suspended players and allow the incident to become a distraction they will not be able to match Tech’s offensive firepower. Last season Texas Tech was dissappointed after not making a BCS bowl game and showed it in its loss to Ole Miss is the Cotton Bowl. This season the Red Raiders are thrilled to be going to a post-Jan 1 bowl game and should play like it. If the Spartans just show up and go through the motions don’t expect an exciting game.

3) Bowl Blues
Stat that made me laugh: Since its first season 113 years ago (1896) the Spartans have been to only 19 postseason bowls. Really? 19 in 113 years? Really? (I realize for a long stretch there weren’t the quantity of bowl game, but only 15 in the last 25 years is almost as bad given the low threshold for making the postseason.) Of those 19 bowl games MSUs record is a lowly 7-12. They are 3-7 in their last 10 games, stretching back to 1990, including three straight losses. The last time they went to the Alamo Bowl, 2003, they got wiped by Nebraska 17-3. History isn’t on the Spartans side when it comes to bowl games and unless the defense finds a way to stop the Red Raiders’ passing attack that woeful record will only get more right-column heavy.

With two poor defensive teams the Alamo Bowl could be an offensive display. Or it could be just be a blood bath with the Green and White being bludgeoned by the Red Raiders.

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Kevin Patra lives by the adage: Those who can’t do or teach, write.  Currently, he is a grad student at the University of Southern California studying online journalism, after spending four years at the University of Michigan obtaining a bachelors degree from the school of Language, Science & Fun. Patra spent his childhood autumns raking leaves while listening to college football on the radio, and is surprised they haven’t upgraded from radio waves yet.

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3. ⊚  A BCS Bowl Prediction from The Sports Union
4. ⊚  Pre-New Years Bowl Games
5. ⊚  Sympathetic Lions roll over and purr for Rams