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John Madden
Madden Retires, Killing Two Birds With One Stone
There is nothing like following the darkest day-tax day-with a little good news; hell, great news! On April 16, just one day after the government raped our pocket books once again, the news of John Madden’s retirement took center stage on the ESPN ticker, and with a BOOM! THAWAP! BOINK! the career of a (cough, cough) legendary announcer faded faster than the turducken on Thanksgiving Day. Halla-freakin-lu-yah!
Players Protest: Chain Themselves to Aloha Stadium
What? The players want to keep the Pro Bowl in Hawaii? Really? Duh! Who wants to be rewarded for a standout season with a trip to Green Bay, Wisconsin; Cleveland, Ohiah; or Buffalo, New York?
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